Grief - Life Vision shatters the silence on this taboo subject

We are almost 100% guaranteed to experience the death of someone close to us in our lifetime- whether it is a pet, or whether it is the death of a very much loved member of the family, or a friend. Isn’t it ironic that as a society we don’t talk about this very commonly experienced event? We would rather cross to the other side of the street so as to avoid having to speak to someone who has recently been bereaved. Are we expected to be “over it” in a week? Many of us are not equipped with knowledge to negotiate the stormy waters of the grieving process. And so in this very challenging process the bereaved are left to try and find their way through the darkness on their own, without really knowing where they are headed, because of the veil of silence surrounding this topic.

 

This taboo topic of Grief is explored in a workshop to be held on Saturday October 17th, 2015 in Hilton. Life Coach Cherri Forsyth lifts the lid of silence on this emotive process. The workshop addresses mainly bereavement, but includes the loss of a job, of your health, of your home, a beloved pet, a relationship. She imparts knowledge on the grieving process, which will enable the journey of loss to be more easily negotiated.
An important fact is discussed- that the 5 stages of grief (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross) are shown to be inappropriately applied after the loss of a loved one. Dr Kubler-Ross identified these stages for people with terminal illnesses- not for those left behind! Many professionals over the years have been trained to care for bereaved people by referring to these 5 stages- however, new research has shown that there are many phases in grief recovery (including the 5 stages of Kubler- Ross), but also many more- things like confusion, volatility, withdrawal, aggression and many others. The new approach has allowed a more natural and normal approach to grieving.

 

Also of utmost importance is the fact that there is no “right or wrong way” to grieve – your heart and intuition know what you need- whether you need solitude, or a “cuppa” with a friend!

 

When someone we love dies, we are left with an open, raw gaping wound that can’t be seen. We feel like a part of our body has been ripped off, and there is this empty silent space.... space left by our loved one. There is a space at the dining room table, a space in the bedroom, a silence where there was chatting and excitement. All we can think of is, “I miss you so much, I miss you, I miss you”. How can we not have our foundation shattered by something this powerful? How can society praise us when we are ‘so brave, so strong- with comments like, “He didn’t even break down- how wonderful he was”. No!, we need this process of grieving to be as authentic and truthful as possible. And if someone close to us has died, of course we will be sad- why is the stoic, stiff upper lip attitude praised? Why is there such a pressure to be strong? Embracing our true emotions of sadness is essential for healing. However, Society imposes extra pressure on us by expecting us to be “normal, never cry, don’t be sad, and be over it within a week!” This causes us to repress all of these very valid emotions...in order to “fit in” with what is acceptable in our society. This can retard and derail our healing. Talk about missing the boat!!

 

So what is Dysfunctional or complicated grief? If your actions are detrimental to yourself or others, then you may be experiencing Dysfunctional Grief. In this case, it is strongly suggested that you receive professional help. Let us get help before our grief has devastated families and relationships.

 

The following questions (amongst others) are also discussed in the workshop:
• What impact has the death had on you personally, and within your family and friends- and how have these relationships been affected?
• Do men and women grieve differently?
• How do we care for a family member/ friend suffering from a loss?
• What is considered “normal” in the grieving process